I know that I know....

I've been thinking a lot about my last post. I don't want to give the idea that I'm not still a "planner" or looking to the future. It would go against my DNA if I stopped planning. (HA! Love you Mom!) What I was really wanting to say is that God has brought me to a place of simply enjoying where He has me and trusting that He has my future already planned out. All I need to do is be faithful in where I am right now. If I am in relationship with Him, I don't have to worry about what is next...He'll get me there.

With that being said, one of the first things that the Lord and I have been dealing with is the health of my family...especially Sean and I. Very gently and slowly, the Lord has peeled back some layers of emotional trash and let me see that unless I make some very real changes, I won't be able to enjoy life to the fullest. Let me try and explain. I was reading something the other day that put things into perspective. The book was explaining that before any life changes can be made, I have to come the understanding in the very deepest part of my being, that God is good. It seems like such a simple sentence. Anyone who has been raised in church has been told that "God is good." As children we are taught a song that says, "God is so good." I'm talking about a much deeper understanding. I'm talking about understanding that "God is good" down deep in a place of the most sincere conviction. Maybe this will help...here is a small exert from a book I am reading.

"Imagine for a moment that you lived a few thousand years ago. You're in a community of people loved by God, but you have all made mistakes over a long period of time, and you find yourself conquered, captured and carted off to Babylon by order of kind Nebuchadnezzar. In this new land, nothing feels the same and nothing looks the same. Obstacles are all around you. you're a stranger in a strange land. But you get a letter from one of you "pastors" - the prophet Jeremiah-and the letter lays out the very words of God. In the letter, God says that He knows everything there is to know about you, including the events of your life that have led you to the place of exile. God knows the mistakes you have made, but He offers you His grace. The Lord declares these simple yet profound words: "I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. " (Jer. 29:11) That's the simple fact: God has good plans for you, plans to give you a hope and a future. In other words-God is good. God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Even though He wrote those words through the prophet Jeremiah, to a specific group of people at a specific place and time, He righteous character is still the same toward us today. Whenever we turn to the Lord and ask for His help, he extends His hand of grace to us." (Lewis p.26-27)
"The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him" Nahum 1:7

Please don't read that and for a minute think that I see myself in exile. No way. But there have been years of mistakes and blunders that got to the place I am physically, emotionally and spiritually. Just knowing that God knows and He is always ready and willing to extend His grace in such an amazing thing to me. He has good plans for me. He knows what is in my past, my present and most certainly my future. What a wonderful and calming thought!

What does this mean for my family? It means making better choices with what we eat. It means that Sean and I are getting up before our boys so that we can have time with the Lord. It means turning off the TV and going for a walk in the evening...sometimes as a family, sometimes just me and the Lord. It means trusting Him completely with my life and family so that I can live the good life that He has planned for me.