Today, I feel like just sitting down and having a good cry. There's nothing particularly wrong...just a day when I am fully aware that I am a girl and girls have an abundance of hormones and emotions. Maybe it's because there has been little sunshine since last Thursday.
It was a typical Monday at school. Everyone was tired from the weekend but after a little while things perked up and we got a lot done. I'm beginning to feel the pressure of our "testing season". We have our big state-wide standardized tests coming up in about a month. The pressures are beginning to rear their ugly heads.
It's my nieces 7th birthday and I'm not with her. I was there the day she was born and I've never fully recovered. She stole my heart and the Lord gave me something in return...hope. I shared that hope in a post last year. I'm sad that I can't be with Kaia and her sister Kamryn. I'm missing my sister. She is one of the few people that make me laugh hard. When Jennifer laughs, the room laughs.
I'm overwhelmed by all that has to be handled at home. I told myself that I was going to be more transparent on this blog. Maybe the time is coming...for now I will say that I am a teacher who is striving to meet the needs of my students. I am a mother trying to figure out how to manage two little boys with a variety of needs that may or may not be related to their past. I am a wife trying to stand beside her husband during a very dark and scary time in our marriage.
Even as I write this...I can hear my God speaking. "Trust in Me with all your heart, Lendy. I've told you not to lean on your understandings. If you'll acknowledge Me in all your ways, I will make your path straight."
For right now, in this moment, I will try my best to trust my God and Savior...
...with all of this...and all of that.
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