There is a beautiful little girl that I have thought about and prayed for today. Today she turned 6. I can't believe that she is 6 years old. It doesn't seem possible that it's been 6 years since she absolutely stole my heart. It was 6 years ago that I stood in a hospital recovery room and held her for the first time and I knew I was lost to her forever. Here name is Kaia and I'm her Aunt Lendy.
I must explain a little of the back story. Her mother is my little sister. Jennifer and I have walked a lot of different roads together. We shared a room from the time and we were 7 and 4. We didn't own separate socks until I went to college. We got married within a year of each other. She's went from being my sister to being my friend. When it came time for her first child to be born, it was the first time that we had reached one of life's major roads that we couldn't share. She was expecting and I wasn't. Sean and I had been trying to have a family for about 3 years and there was little hope. As I watched my sister's stomach grow with each passing month, I grew excited and yet a little of my heart shut down at the same time. Knowing that she was experiencing something that I wanted so badly and yet being excited at the same time was something that I didn't have words for. The Lord and I met on this topic often. I asked Him to take away my desire for a baby. I couldn't understand why He wasn't answering me. I couldn't know at that time that He was waiting to show up in a very big way on February 1, 2003.
The morning of Kaia's birth was so exciting. Jennifer had to have a c-section so we were all just waiting for her to come out of surgery. When they wheeled her and Kaia down the hall and into recovery it was a moment that I'll never forget. There was this tiny little pink bundle with dark curly hair! She was a perfect mix of Jennifer and Kody in all of her 6 lbs. We each got a minute to hold her before the nurse took her up to the nursery for her bath. Jennifer was sleeping off the drugs and needed some quiet. We all gathered up our stuff and went up to the nursery. There we were...all 9 of us looking through a window at this precious little angel. After a little while, the crowd thinned and I was left standing at the window by myself. There was no one else on the floor. I stood there and watched her. I couldn't take my eyes off her. In that moment of just staring at her, my God showed up. I knew He was there with me. His presence was thick in that place. As I looked at her in complete and total awe and love, He spoke into the deepest parts of my heart. I heard Him like never before. All I heard Him say was "I am the Creator of Life. This is my greatest creation. But don't focus on the creation...just stay focused on the Creator."
The dusty places of my heart were brushed off and I let Him minister to me in ways that I had not done in a long time. I cried and praised Him for His goodness and mercy. I recieved His ministering that day and gave Him my children. I knew on that day that I would one day be a mother. I received the blessing of knowing that it really didn't matter how my children were created...the bottom line was that the Creator of Life was the One who did it and He would bring them in His time.
Fast forward 6 years...my 2 little blessings are asleep and my heart is overflowing with thanks. I know that if it hadn't been for that precious little pink bundle that God blessed us with 6 years ago, I wouldn't have been ready for my boys. God used her to peal away the caloused edges of my heart and understand a little of what it means to love unconditionally. He used her to show me a little more of who He is...the Creator of all Life.
Happy Birthday, Sweet Girl...I love you!
1 comment:
Thank you for sharing your heart.
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