I just received a phone call that left me shaking my head wondering. As I was about to get in the shower and get ready for the day I hear my phone ringing. I look at the caller idea and it's the boys' daycare. I quickly answer and the director tells me not to worry this isn't an emergency call. She was letting me know that she had Zachary in her office for the 2nd time today! (FYI...it's not 10:00 yet!) He's been spitting on people and she told him early today that if it continued then he would have to call mommy and daddy. He got on the phone and told me..."I spit my friends". At least he was honest!
So, for all your seasoned mothers out there...any advice? I called Sean and shared with him my moment on the phone with our almost 3 year old and he just signed. I really hope this isn't a sign of things to come... :)
3 comments:
Spitting...hmmm...we haven't dealt with that one....yet. We did deal with some hitting, which he outgrew. It's been interesting trying to figure out how to deal with discipline with our Zachary. Sometimes just threatening time-out does the trick. And then there have been times when we've had to give him multiple spankings (not wanting to go to bed--time-out is not effective then as being out of bed is exactly what he wants). Have the boys just started at the day care? We found that it could take a couple of weeks for Z to get settled in and that once he was accustomed to things, his behavior improved. Last year after being out of day care for the whole summer, we had a long several weeks getting him re-accustomed to both day care and church. I think he cried for 2 1/2 hours the first day back at day care. We're about to start day care back again, so I may be posting help requests in a couple of weeks!
So, I guess my comment comes around to....I dunno. Sometimes it seems we just have to wait out the stages. And not let them have cookies or something in the meantime....
Ok. As a seasoned (4+ years) of TWO boys... my first response to this is...LAUGH! This IS funny!!
We have dealt with spitting and continue to deal with spitting. It is a distictly MALE behavior. They are boys, therefore, they spit, as well as burp, pass gas, wrestle, climb and destroy things.
How did your daycare provider handle this? Did she think it was a major deal or was she more relaxed about it? The fact that she called you after the second offense leads me to believe she was a little uptight. I mean, seriously?! She called you for spitting?!
First, is this a new skill he has recently developed? If so, it is a novelty for him, just like learning to open/close a door or turn on/off the lights. He needs you to teach him when spitting is appropriate and when it isn't. I tell my boys that spitting is for outside. We do NOT spit inside a building/the house. If they spit inside again they have to stand in the corner (our time-out).
That means when outside they spit all they want. In fact I encourage and praise this behavior. "Wow, you spit a long way that time." Etc.. You may want to involve Sean in a spitting contest with the boys. = )
If this is not a new skill and he was spitting on his friend out of frustration or anger that is slightly different. We had that for a brief time as well. "We do not spit on our friends. That is rude. Apologize to your friend for spitting on him." Then explain to him which words he should use when he is upset with his friend. "I don't like it when you do x." Or "Please give me back my toy." Basically give him the proper words and behavior to use when he has been "wronged" by the friend. Also, explain that spitting is a fun thing to do outside and if he spits on his friend again he will have a time out.
Talk to the daycare provider and explain your position on spitting and the discipline you want her to use. Having him call you for a small thing like spitting strikes me as a bit humiliating for him. As well as putting TOO much attention on the behavior. Now he knows it's a way to get major attention, real quick! That could actually encourage the behavior.
This is just my opinion but I don't think having him call you and "confess" is a good way of handling discipline at that age. It's not like you are going to do anything to him when he gets home so I'm not sure what she was hoping to achieve with this. If it's guilt or embarrassment for him, that is NOT good. I assume they use time out. That would have been the appropriate response no matter how many times he spit on a friend in one day.
That's just my opinion. = ) Hope it helps.
That's cute- not the spitting, but him telling you on the phone. You could always bring God into it (that sounds wrong, but you know what I mean) and tell him what God thinks of us spitting on our friends or enemies for that matter. Gosh, I don't really know girl.
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