When I started this blog it was intended to be used to share stories and pictures of our boys with our friends and families. Having grown up overseas and having so many friends and family who live all over the world it seemed like a good idea. Over the past 3+ months, it's become a lifesaver. There have been days when I couldn't wait to blog about the newest funny/cute thing that the boys said or did. It's been a blast sharing our journey through adoption and giving God all the praise and glory for it. The benefit that I wasn't expecting was the "mommy" world that I have found and connected with. Wow! On days when I didn't think I was going to make it, I would read someone else's mommy experience/story and I would know that I'm not alone. It was like a breath of fresh air and a reminder that "this too shall pass."
Well...I'm needing some words of encouragement from the working mommies of the world. I have been back to work for 4 days and it's not going so well. I absolutely love my job. I teach 4th grade and I love it! I am starting my 10th year of teaching and I can't imagine doing anything else. I love digging deep and finding "that one thing" that makes the light bulb come on for the kiddos. I love watching them grow and develop into who God made them to be. I teach in public schools so I don't get to share my faith openly but God never fails and every year there has been someone that I have been able to minister to in someway or another.
Here's the problem...I loved my summer as a mommy. Our days were usually starting at around 7:00-7:30. The boys would wake up and crawl in bed with Sean and I. We would talk and laugh and watch cartoons. I would fix breakfast at around 8:00 and we would sit around the table as a family. Then Sean would get them boys dressed and ready for daycare. You're probably wondering why they went to daycare during the summer. It's a long story but the short version is that they are still foster kids and the state is paying for it. Their caseworker wanted them to keep as much of their routine the same as possible and if they quit going they would lose their "spot" in the daycare. So, they would be there from about 9-3. While they were gone I would grocery shop, clean house, laundry, have a quiet time everyday and fix healthy, well planned out meals. I would pick the boys up and we would run errands together or just come home and play. They got my undivided attention. We would have dinner and bath time by 7:00 and then everyone was in bed by 7:30-45.
NOT ANYMORE!
It's only been 4 days and life around here is crazy. I haven't been able to get the boys until almost 5:00 2 out of 3 days. By the time we come home, they are y and just want my attention. Daniel wants to be held and Zachary is usually very emotional and the smallest thing sets him off. (It's hard being almost 3!) I have to start dinner and they don't understand why I can't play like I used to. Leaving in the morning is so hard. Every morning they have just woken up and gotten to the breakfast table when I have to leave. There is laundry to fold, bathrooms that need cleaning and little boys that don't understand what is going on around here. I have to admit, I wasn't prepared for this. I always said I wanted to keep working when we had kids and I think I still do but...wow...this juggling act is not easy.
So...to all the working mommies of the world...or at least the ones that read this blog, I'll take any and all words of advice and encouragement you have to offer!
3 comments:
I think you've hit on a common struggle for moms in our culture.
I'm not a working momma but as an 4 year veteran momma I suggest scheduling and planning ahead will help.
Plan your menu and precook what you can. Chicken can be cooked ahead of time and frozen until you are ready to add it to a pasta or casserole. Crockpot cooking can be a lifesaver.
Also, sceduling your chores really helps. Such as boys laundry on Tues., your laundry on Wed., towels & sheets on Thurs. etc.
When you have a schedule and everyone knows what to expect there's less chaos and everyone's happier.
I am right there with you. I love what I do but then I feel guilty that somehow I'm not giving my kids my best. And especially when you start back to school in the fall you are completely exhausted at the end of every day and feel like your family only gets what you have left over.
I agree with what Stephanie says about planning--though sometimes the kitchen at our house just stays dirty a little longer than it should.
The other big thing that has helped us is having a list of all household chores and then dividing them b/w me and Tad. Since we both work and both take care of the boys, we both do the housework too.
I have breakdowns every so often thinking that I'm not doing the right thing by working. But at the same time, I know that I am not made to stay at home all the time.
I think the worst part of it is the emotional aspect though. The first couple of weeks of settling into the new schedule are always difficult and leave you doubting.
Last year when we started back to school in the fall, Zachary cried for 2 hours at daycare. It took a while, but he eventually readjusted and then was sad on the days he didn't get to go.
You are doing a great job as a mom, no matter what Satan is trying to tell you!
I haven't been able to do this for the last two years, but my goal for this school year is to not bring work home with me on a regular basis. I know that there are certain times of the semester when it is likely inevitable (exams, papers due, etc.) but if I don't have work at home, I don't feel pulled in different directions. That may mean that my students will have to wait a bit longer to get their papers back, but they'll live.
You're getting more than you bargained for here...maybe I should do my own post about this! :)
And I'll end with this...work v. stay at home is so completely a family by family decision. If you and Sean decide that you quitting work is the right way to go, by all means do it. But if you don't feel at peace with that thought, don't let the prevailing idea that you're failing your kids by working take over. I have utmost respect for women who make both choices. And know the example you set by being a committed and effective teacher is also very important for your kids.
And finally....I'm done.
Oh--check out flylady.com for some good ideas about how to manage household chores.
Lendy--
I'm not a working mom anymore, but I was when my oldest was one. I don't have a long list of advice, but I do want to encourage you just by saying that they WILL be okay. I remember commuting 45 minutes each way, getting home from school around 5:30 with PILES of papers to grade, Michael went to work at 6. (He was in seminary full time and worked nights. He did stay home with Jamie a few days a week, though.) Plus we were doing Apartment Life ministry also. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN about being overwhelmed. I felt like I must have been the worst mom in the world. But you know what I learned? While I know I could have done things better, and I wished I could have been home with him, all that experience helped to make him the happy, independent, FLEXIBLE child that he is now. I know you're situation is quite unique from mine, so it might not necessarily work the same, but I know that if I had to go back to work now (I almost did!) my kids would be okay. They would have some adjusting to do, but in the long run, they wouldn't feel any different about me as their mom than they do now. Your children love you, they will get used to it, and when they are grown, they will appreciate the sacrifices you make to take care of them. Keep your chin up, girl. Motherhood is tough whether you're a SAHM or a working mom. But it's SO worth it!
Post a Comment