for such a time as this...

There are times in life when the lessons of God come like a gentle trickle of cool water.  The Word of God seems to leap off the page and soothe my soul.  Then there are times when I dig and scrape through His Word trying to find something to cling to when life is crazy.  I have had time when my soul has been a dry wasteland land.  Sensing His presence was hard, frustrating and sometimes confusing.  But then there are times like yesterday...when the Lord speaks and reveals His truths and it's like trying to take a drink from a fire hydrant.  His Word seems to be flashing in neon lights and the Spirit is so clear.  Thank you, Lord!

About a year and half ago I studied the book of Esther through a Bible study written by Beth Moore.  It was one of the most amazing studies I have ever done.  I saw things about myself as a women that I had never seen before.  The Lord lovingly brought me to some truths that allowed me to release some very old and tired baggage.  One of the things that stuck to my heart and soul was the truth that God brought Esther to her position as queen for "such a time as this..."  God knew that His people would be persecuted.  He knew that Esther would be in a position to speak on their behalf.  God knew everything that Esther had done and would do and that it would be used to impact the people of God.   When Esther was looking at the possible outcomes to her speaking out for her people she must have been a little afraid. I can only imagine that she looked at her surroundings and wondered if God had chosen the right person.  When the moment came, she had to come to the truth that He had placed her in that place and season for a purpose. Regardless of the outcome, He would be glorified. He would continue to be on His Throne. He would stay the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

This truth came rushing back to me last night.

Once the boys were in bed and quiet, Sean and I had some time to sit and reflect on the road we are on with our boys right now.  Both are growing so fast.  We are seeing them take in the world at a speed that is often overwhelming.  We are also coming to terms that being parents to a child with emotional development delays is a challenge...to say the least.  As I was telling Sean how overwhelmed I felt and, if I am honest, starting to have a little pity party; the Spirit opened up the fire hydrant of truth.  It was almost at the exact moment that my mouth opened that I heard in my heart, "...for such a time as this."

There is NOTHING in our life right now that is a surprise to the Lord.  He knew our boys before they were born.  He formed them in their mother's womb and they are so fearfully and wonderfully made.  He knows their past, their present and He is in their future.  He is not going to let our family fall.  The Lord has equipped Sean and me.  We know that we cannot be the parents that our sons need and deserve without being consistantly in the Word and in relationship with Him.  In a way that only He can, God is weaving our past victories and trials with our present challenges.  Just as with Esther, God is not going to let our life experiences and testimony go to waste.  There is a bigger purpose. 

When it comes down to it, we have two choices.  One choice is to allow ourselves to feel defeated.  Guiding our youngest son through this season is hard.  There are days when we feel completly overwhelmed and totally inaffective.  I know this is true for most parents but when it is compounded with other issues, it is so easy to feel completely useless.  Satan would love for us to throw up our hands and give up.  There is nothing more satisfying to him than to see a family stop praying, reading the Word and seeking God's direction.  We can also become completely consummed with what the "experts" tell us to do for our sweet boy.  There are MANY opinions when it comes to dealing with emotional devlopmental delays.  Knowing how and what to discipline is the hardest.  Satan lives to confuse the people of God.  When we are focusing more on what men say and less on what God has to say, Satan is victorious. One of my favorite verses is 2 Timothy 1:7. "For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind."  Confusion is not from God.  I'm sure that had other people known that Esther was thinking about speaking to the king, they would have had their opinions on the how, when and what.  She knew she had to stay focused on the Lord's voice and direction.

Our second choice is to stand and claim victory for our sons.  Even while we are not yet at a finish line, we can claim a victory in their lives.  In the book Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst, she explains it perfectly.  She says, " What is this truth?  We were made for more than this.  More than this failure, more than this cycle,...We were made for victory.  Sometimes we just have to find our way to that truth." (pg.49)
Our son does not have to be defined by where he is right now.  Who he is and what his life will be is in the Lord's hands.  We can listen to the experts and take it all to the Lord and allow Him to do the sifting. The information that is applied in our sons lives is for Him to decide. 

So...we will stand tall.  We will continue to know that He who began a good work in our family will be faithful to complete it.  Our sons lives will be a testimony to His love, mercy and goodness.  Regardless of the trials and heartache, the four of us were brought together "for such a time as this..." and it is good.